I hit close on the tab and took a deep breath, another session under my belt. This one felt really hard to show up for. I was exhausted, spent. I was worn out from being vulnerable and having the hard conversations earlier in the week. I felt like I was on the edge of relapse, and I just could hardly breathe. My back was tight and my chest even tighter. But now, a deep breath.

I love how therapy puts things in perspective – how I can see what I need to work on but also what I am doing really well. I love how therapy lets that stack up. There is someone who remembers where I used to be and can tell me how far I’ve come… and steps to go even further. It’s the trust built, and the progress made. It’s having a space to say literally anything on my mind without fear of judgment or what will happen when I am honest.

I talk about therapy all the time. If you have spent any amount of time around me, I’m sure I have brought it up. I’ve been in individual therapy, marriage therapy, and group therapy. I’ve been going to school to get my degree in Psychology. I’ve been passing out phone numbers of great counselors I know for years.

I. Love. Therapy.

But I don’t always feel like showing up. Showing up takes work. Vulnerability is hard a lot of the time, even for an Enneagram 4. What always leads to me being a better person is sometimes that hardest thing to want to do.

Here’s what I do when I don’t want to go:

1. I keep a consistent schedule. At the end of every appointment, I schedule my next one. I trust the timing that by then there will be more things to talk about. And even if there aren’t, it’s good for me to show up anyway. Even on my “good” days, consistently talking to someone and letting them have input in my life (especially a skilled professional) is one of the best things to keep my life on track.
2. Show up regardless of how I am feeling. The days I need it the most are the hardest ones to show up for. It’s hard to admit when I’m struggling and made mistakes. It’s hard to open up when I just want to hide away and not let anyone see me. But the beauty lies in being seen at our worsts and being loved anyway.

Going to therapy guarantees that I will be seen, and in the best ways. It serves as a looking glass to give a good perspective on where I am actually at. And it allows someone to deeply believe in me and give me helpful tools to move forward. It has been an incredibly important part of my life whether things were going smoothly or were terribly rocky. In every season and at every point, therapy has been nothing but helpful and valuable. I recommend it to everyone. All the time.

With all the current stress in our lives, families, nation, etc, most of us aren’t at our best right now. It’s okay to seek help, recommended even. It doesn’t make you weak. Rather, it’s a very empowering thing, having someone in your corner.

What in your life could improve by opening up regularly to someone who could give skilled input? What might be holding you back from it? I have never regretted a session. Ever.